The Beauty of the Vegan Vagina

kiwi-vagina

Vegan women look better than the typical flesh-eating derelict. That’s just the stone-cold truth. I walked into a vegan juice-bar in the urban Western city and was taken aback by the beautiful blonde angels working the bar.

Their hair was long, shiny, and thick; the skin was a glowing olive, radiating perfectly off the LED lights, free from acne and blemishes. Their bodies were thin, fit, yet toned to perfection. I found their enthusiasm endearing as one stuck a giant, thick cucumber into a juicer, transforming it into a green liquid. Their aura filmed the room with positive energy.

A woman’s attractiveness to men comes from their femininity, their pureness, their wholesomeness, and their youthful beauty which is correlated with their ability to procreate. Therefore, culture and evolution give women a higher responsibility than men to keep themselves at a certain level of attraction.

A woman who gorges on the carcass of the innocent, and participates in gluttonous flesh-eating for her own benefit, causing her to become overweight, smelly, and unhealthy, decreases her femininity. No respectable man wants a woman with smelly man-farts and who stinks up the bathroom releasing their bowels made up of rotten corpses.

Being vegan does wondrous things for the vagina. They glow with health and radiance; the hue is a perfect spectrum of neon pink with a shiny gloss. The lips are delicate like flowers.

Carcass vaginas may be brown like rust, have long, asymmetrical lips, and emit disgusting foul-smelling vaginal discharge. But vegan vaginas are the vaginas of the angels, the vagina of humankind’s first woman Eve, bringing forth fresh delicious moistness in an aesthetic package.

And the taste. Licking the moistness of the vegan vagina tastes like sweet red berries, as if one let a frozen bag of mixed strawberries, raspberries, and cherries thaw for a few hours, and then swallowed the imminent juice. On top of that, there is no foul odor spewing from her anus giving the licker nasal discomfort.

Vaginal secretions can be a benefit for the men and women who taste them. They are full of healthy probiotics that are digested by the oral giver. Licking a vagina once a day is the equivalent of taking daily probiotic supplements.

Since what people eat are naturally emitted through their bodily fluids, a vegan woman with a diet high in different colored fruits and vegetables are brought forth through her vaginal lubrication; helping the glowing vagina to be an antioxidant powerhouse and taste sweet like berries and vitality.

Go vegan! If you’re not concerned with saving innocent animals who are being tortured and killed for the gluttonous behaviors of humans, nor your health which could lead to a longer lifespan and reduced cancer risk, nor for reduction of the pollution and CO2 emissions, nor for the common good of the planet and mankind, then do it for your vagina.

 

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